I am a grown up

Gym today, mostly an avoidance tactic but also because I haven't been in a while. At the moment I am getting more out of classes which once booked place upon me a sort of obligation to attend. I am trying to do C25K using the NHS podcasts. I keep getting stuck on week three because in my head the leap from three to five minutes jogging in week four just seems to big. The whole ten week thing is definitely not going to work for me but it's okay. I will get there just at my own pace!


That's the thing about exercise as an adult. You can do it however you want to do it. If I don't feel like running on the hamster wheel today then I don't have to. I don't need a note excusing me. I don't have to justify it.


The trainer manning the gym today was obviously on a sales kick to get people to join a Boot Camp class in the neighbouring park - only £1 for members. Honestly, I cannot think of anything more off-putting than the idea of running around a muddy field being yelled at. I guess it's kind of retro and trendy but not for me. I like not being rained on or having finished my workout having to then trudge home again. It's why I have a gym membership in the first place. I endured enough of that when I was fifteen and it put me off exercise for a long time. I am a grown up now and I certainly have no intention of paying for the previlege.


Like a lot of people I had a lot of fears about going to work out in a gym. I thought I would been seen as an utter freak, all fat and wobbly. Well, the truth is that most people in a gym will have wobbly bits somewhere on them. You know where mine are. And most people there are there for the same reasons - they want to make a change. It's not a competition. It's not compulsory. It is whatever you decide it's going to be.


I think the realisation that I was in charge of my own fitness really helped me loose weight. Way back at the beginning, before I'd started Weight Watchers in 2009, I couldn't even bring myself to find out how much I weighed but I did get over myself enough to take control of my physical activity. I joined a gym (not the one I'm at now which is local authority, charity run, friendly and amazing value for money), and worked towards goals that weren't exactly about weight but improving performance. I'm still not thin or fit but I am certainly thinner and fitter.