Weigh in - 12st 10.5lb

I didn't keep a single one of my resolutions from last week. I drank (on two occasions), didn't do any exercise, some neighbourhood kids washed my car for £2, I ate pork pies and still lost 2.5lbs. I don't get that when I actually try! Make of that what you will.

No alcohol...

...starting today.

Weigh in - 12st 13lb (again)

Maintained, which is more than I deserved on account of the following:

Eating and drinking with absolutely no restraint, partly due to visiting relatives and accompanying buffets etc, except yesterday when I really wanted a chocolate bar and resisted.

Yoga on the Wii - oh my god, I am nowhere near as flexible as I thought. My muscles ached for four days which meant that I scived off body combat on Sunday.

So I am pretty pleased. I was bracing myself for a gain but I'm relieved it didn't happen because even if I've brought it on myself it's still depressing.

This week's goals are:

• Not to eat any pork pies.
• To work out at least once at the gym including a C25K podcast.
• Do Body Combat and Zumba.
• Do the Wii yoga (except not an hour this time! And at an easier level).
• Try to eat some fruit about an hour before meals, thereby trying to up my superfree food quota.
• Not to drink alcohol.
• Wash the car (not strictly a weight-loss related goal but could be considered activity, maybe).

Weigh in - 12st 13lb

Finally, over the stone marker. I always seem to get stuck at round number - purely psychological I'm sure. Only 4.5lbs until my Slimming World two and a half stone sticker. Then I'll be catching up on the amount I lost on Weight Watchers - over 50lbs at one point but overall by the time I started SW it worked out to 42lbs which is not to be sniffed at. If I lost 50lbs with SW that would take me within a stone of target. I never realised that until today but it's good. I've lost 50lbs before so I must be able to do it.

Scared yet?

I’ve been doing Body Combat for a few months now and even though I’m pretty rubbish and spend quite a lot of energy and attention trying not to fall over I do really like it. But since Wednesday all I’ve heard about the latest Body Combat workout is how horrendously hard it is. Didn’t help that the instructor’s favourite phrase is “anyone feeling sick yet?”, today accompanied by instructions to sit down if it all got too much and a running commentary on how may kicks were in the next song section (240). Seriously, I don’t want to know. Keep telling me how hard it is and I’ll probably run away. Typically the dread was far worse that the real thing so although my shoulders and thighs are killing me I just look on that as value for money.

I am a grown up

Gym today, mostly an avoidance tactic but also because I haven't been in a while. At the moment I am getting more out of classes which once booked place upon me a sort of obligation to attend. I am trying to do C25K using the NHS podcasts. I keep getting stuck on week three because in my head the leap from three to five minutes jogging in week four just seems to big. The whole ten week thing is definitely not going to work for me but it's okay. I will get there just at my own pace!


That's the thing about exercise as an adult. You can do it however you want to do it. If I don't feel like running on the hamster wheel today then I don't have to. I don't need a note excusing me. I don't have to justify it.


The trainer manning the gym today was obviously on a sales kick to get people to join a Boot Camp class in the neighbouring park - only £1 for members. Honestly, I cannot think of anything more off-putting than the idea of running around a muddy field being yelled at. I guess it's kind of retro and trendy but not for me. I like not being rained on or having finished my workout having to then trudge home again. It's why I have a gym membership in the first place. I endured enough of that when I was fifteen and it put me off exercise for a long time. I am a grown up now and I certainly have no intention of paying for the previlege.


Like a lot of people I had a lot of fears about going to work out in a gym. I thought I would been seen as an utter freak, all fat and wobbly. Well, the truth is that most people in a gym will have wobbly bits somewhere on them. You know where mine are. And most people there are there for the same reasons - they want to make a change. It's not a competition. It's not compulsory. It is whatever you decide it's going to be.


I think the realisation that I was in charge of my own fitness really helped me loose weight. Way back at the beginning, before I'd started Weight Watchers in 2009, I couldn't even bring myself to find out how much I weighed but I did get over myself enough to take control of my physical activity. I joined a gym (not the one I'm at now which is local authority, charity run, friendly and amazing value for money), and worked towards goals that weren't exactly about weight but improving performance. I'm still not thin or fit but I am certainly thinner and fitter.

14

This is not the beginning. The beginning was four years ago when my weight had passed 18 stone and decided that it was time my weight went in the other direction. You can want to loose weight and you can start this diet or that exercise regime but I think it's one of those things you have to have a light-bulb moment for the idea to really take seed. Otherwise you yo-yo, and as any savvy slimmer knows that is BAD. I knew that there would be no quick fix for loosing half my body weight but back then I didn't think that four years later I'd still have a way to go.


I have learned a lot of things, not least of which is patience and persistence. For example, today for the first time since I was still at school I've bought a pair of size 14 trousers. This is GOOD.


What it also means it that, in adult terms at least, I am back to zero and then a bit. It taken a long time to undo all the bad choices that resulted in my heaviest weight and today felt like a little bit of a triumph. So, basking in positivity, it feels like a good time to start a blog about loosing weight.


Weight: 13st 1/2lb